life as i know it
Monday, November 20th, 2006The eve upon your leaving left me breathless As I sat and caught tear drops in my hands. It makes me bleed inside This sadness that I can’t contain inside my weary mind. It’s like this cancer that lurks inside of me Though sometimes I feel as if there is no real cure. Even in my darkest hour The calming nature of just your eyes always kept me sane. Today I sat and watched as my wounds re-appeared That self mutilation always gets to me. A somber tear turns into a waterfall of madness One more slice and this melancholia will end. Everyday I’ll sit in the window and wait for you to never come I’ll listen to the answering machine to see if I happened to miss any calls the one minute that I wasn’t by the phone I’ll read those old notes And look at the pictures on my wall of old nobodies. I’ll remember all the times that I was left sitting by my own silhouette Wondering what makes me not worth it. Do you remember those days we spent together Do you remember the way things used to be? It all turned to a world of doldrums when you started crying November rain. Every minute, every hour seems to last eternity Love is a sharper razor than the ones that I use against myself Always leaving my soul to bleed. My friend, the bombshell who was silent all these years, never thought she could measure up to his standards When really it was he who deserved to bleed inside. My other friend, my Stumbleine, drank pennyroyal tea one day So hurt inside her weary heart The only words she could manage to say were I’m not okay…I promise. And then there’s me, Peggy Sue, prude unglued with strawberry gashes all over. Sometimes it get’s so lonely I end up counting my scars and befriending each one Hoping that maybe if I’m nice they’ll all dissapear. Today I’ll sit by the window again wearing my wounds like a polka dot dress Waiting for your calls. Can you forget me? Oh…that’s to bad. Because you’ve already left your footprints inside my heart…
