paranoid ivan

February 09, 2009, the 55th birthday of my MOMMY. Nothing really extravagant, yet so special that we celebrated this day like the usual day we’ve had every now and then. So IRONIC isn’t it? IRONIC in a way that even the way I think at the moment is so awkward and so insensitive. Worst, I only attended my 7:30AM Research class, the rest of my 5 subjects were celebrated grandiosely in my DREAMS.

My INTRO doesn’t seem to INTERCONNECT with my TITLE, isn’t it? As I woke up SHIVERING on our sofa, I went inside my room to get my BLANKET - this continuity of RAIN just had felt my SERENE TIMIDITY and had CONTINUOUSLY fed it. ASTONISHED with TRASHES in my ROOM, my LIDS just widely OPENED. I started fixing my bed, arranging my clothes, filing my papers, in short, CLEANING my room. A SHOEBOX with all my KEEPSAKES caught my ATTENTION, and a small CONGRATULATIONS card dated 11-27-04 pushed drops of tears out my sleepy eye. Written inside the card are greetings of my FRIENDS - Monell, Jade, and Romar - greetings related to the success of the FIRST DANCE CONCERT, “KAMI NA NI KARON!” by the pioneering batch, of which I belong, of the Xavier University Cultural Dance Troupe (XUCDT).

Inside the card is a SMALL Heart-Shaped card with my PANGET”S NOTE. Suddenly, the MEMORIES which I’ve had with PANGET happily circulated around my head, and as I read:

              NGET,

                      Congratz!! Tsada kaau ka musayaw…luv u nget!! happy monthsary…gihagoan bya namo ang flowers…tccic…mwah!!

                      Don’t 4get sa imo goals ha…labaw na health part…OK?!

                      Keep this always!

                      Pls. ever…don’t burn this…heeh…

                      Luv U!!

                      Mwah!!

                      Mwah!

I was then crying, laughing, smiling - INSANE indeed. Remembering back those THREE long months I’ve had with PANGET is like flying deep down the PACIFIC Ocean - so IRONIC! I, Then, just can’t help myself on staring PANGET’s picture on my ALBUM. PANGET seems like smiling at me, telling that I still should follow the advices PANGET had written on a one-fourth piece of yellow paper. This piece of note is also kept inside the card.

There, PANGET enumerated:

         - Mukaon ko’g breakfast, lunch, dinner. Apil na ang gulay!!

         - Dili magpalabi sa co-curricular activities…

         - Dili BINUANGAN si panget!!

         - Self-control, know my limitations…sorry tao lang kasi, hindi ako si superman!!

         - Say “I LUV U” to mommy and daddy once a day.

         - Pamper myself kahit for a day, by just relaxing kahit ano basta hindi nakakapagod.

         - Sleep at least 5-6 hours a fay.

         - Dili mukaon/muinom og food/drink nga bawal sa akong health.

         - Never forget my medications…remember that life is worth fighting for.

         - Try to accomplish all these GOALS para kay panget…..Ü

Wow! Sweet! Ouch! So sad that our relationship has to end! We started being STRANGERS to each other. An INTIMATE moment happened on the FIRST day we’ve met. But, we ended up as STRANGERS. A TRAGIC moment happened to me as we BROKE up.

Almost FIVE long years had past. I missed PANGET so much. Remembering PANGET doesn’t mean PANGET is dead, PANGET is just enjoying travelling the country. I just wanted to feel back what happiness really was, the happiness I supremely felt when I’ve had PANGET.

And so, I continued fixing my things, went back to the sofa and closed my LIDS. Surely, I’ll wake up early, not because I remembered PANGET, but because I have to attend my 7:30AM class.